Confession

after Wang Ping

At 71, fat, with a disorderly kidney ready to die . Sitting too long in one chair . Computer on . facebook . twitter . blog . gmail . email . video poker, and I never lose . Try the casino? . Make a flyer for Mei’s Tian Yuen, Vietnam house of noodle soup, to post on the front door, side door . Watch Jon Stewart and Dr. Strangelove . Hershey bar. Clark bar from the candy specialty shop . See’s raspberry cream . Cheese danish . 2 a.m. and the goat up the hill bleats and the great horned owl in the pines hollow-hoots back . Chocolate . Hot chocolate . It’s a merry-go-round . The rooster up the hill wakes up and lets it be known . Catch the brass ring for a free ride on the wooden horses . A Fifth Avenue bar, chocolate melted and hard again against the wrapping, gray from too much sun in the 7-11 . A little walk . Needles in at the acupuncturist . Drastic measures . Hershey bar . Write a poem . Brass ring . A food plan . A walk, maybe 15 minutes, by Porterfield Creek . Stepping in . Group . Sponsor . Phone . Cook . Nothing but vegetables, grain, 4 ounces protein, fruit, until it tastes good . Is . Is enough . Ray’s 6-foot x 4-foot x 6-foot-high stack of sugar bags next to the bakery, next to the candy aisle . Grit teeth . Walk by . Make a daily list . 143 things to do, starting with prayer . Checkmark . Write a poem. Walk with Mei to the top of the broken road in the wilderness park behind the senior retirement community . Mei says China! looking across the green mountains . 10 pounds released . Go home . Write a poem . Cook an asparagus bunch . 7 grains from Trader Joe’s . Fresh petrale, 4 ounces, on sale at Ray’s . Write another poem …

Photograph by Karl Frederick